Little Miss is such a happy, sociable little girl, who loves other children. She would make a fantastic big sister. When she's been in the little baby room at nursery, I've often caught her stroking a upset babies hair or hand, trying to calm them. Or hovering over a sleeping baby, keeping watch, and warding off other children. She's happy to share, as long as it's not her shoes, bag or coat. Those are Little Misses only!
My feeling originally was not to have a little one during my first year of work. To get this over and done with, as one of the more stressful years (pre-registration, although i'm sure no more stressful than any other), and to settle into the work. Then this stretched to, not having a new little one before I get my full training post. Not wanting to go to interviews pregnant. And now, not wanting to turn up to my first day of that job pregnant.
My fears of many years ago, of pushing back when to have children are happening again.
There's the added complication of the pre-eclampsia I had with Little Miss. The risks of this recurring increase with time between pregnancies, and increase with older age of mummy. So not wanting to be pregnant for social reasons could be putting my life in danger. Which isn't somewhere I want to be either.
I need to put my head to this and think. The most difficult thing, is that we all know it's not possible to plan exactly when a baby will arrive. There's hope that 'doing the deed' will lead to a pregnancy and that pregnancy will come to fruition at the right time, but no dead cert.
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